OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
Randomize
