Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
Randomize