Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
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