They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
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