well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
You're earring is so big in my mouth
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
