guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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