belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
I want to walk on stilts...naked
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
