I swear she didn't look like that last week.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
Randomize
