You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Randomize
