Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(310): View more from California

you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.

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(480): View more from Arizona

You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.

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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?

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(815): View more from Illinois

So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)

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(306): View more from Saskatchewan

When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.

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(401): View more from Rhode Island

it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.

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(612): View more from Minnesota

This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.

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(905): View more from Ontario

Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?

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(415): View more from California

So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.

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