And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
Randomize
