yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
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