just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
Randomize
