I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Randomize
