ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
Randomize
