So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Randomize
