U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
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