Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
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