why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Randomize
