Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
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