You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
Randomize
