We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
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