Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
Randomize
