are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
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