By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
Randomize
