I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Randomize
