STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
Randomize