nut hugger
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
I'm sobbing to NWA
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
Randomize
