You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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