You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
Randomize
