so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
Boobs speak an international language.
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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