I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
I will pee on everything he values.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
Randomize
