Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize
