my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Randomize
