I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Randomize