We're like a lot better than the average bears
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
Randomize