she was so not down for the gang bang
You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize