it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
