I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
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