He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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