If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
Randomize
