Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
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