Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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