he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
and you said cock pushups were impossible
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
Randomize
