All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
