she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
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