dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
