carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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