So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
Randomize
