I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
it was like his penis was on wheels.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Randomize