Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Randomize
