My room smells like vodka and shame
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Randomize
