Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
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