Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
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