i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
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