Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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