You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
it wasn't lemon gatorade
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
