it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
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