Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
Never joke about your clitoris.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
