I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
Randomize
