I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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