Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
no. you can't hotbox the world.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Randomize
