420 ftw
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
