Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
Randomize
