just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
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