So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
No awkward lesbian experiences without me
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Randomize
