rhymes with "ouble enetration"
is wine microwaveable?
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
