Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
I forgot how hot balto sounded
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
Randomize
