My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
I could make wine with my vomit
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
Randomize
