toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
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