I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
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